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Why Your Team Sucks 2022: Denver Broncos

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  • Why Your Team Sucks 2022: Denver Broncos

    This yearly series (by Drew Magary at The Defector) is usually pretty funny -- kind of a roast, but for teams. (Link)

    Here are some of the funniest bits about our Denver Broncos:

    1) "Jerry Jeudy had misdemeanor charges against him dropped this offseason. Given his style of play, I’m surprised Jeudy wasn’t able to drop the charge himself."

    2) "Denver is just Phoenix with a scarier airport."

    3) "The Broncos are really trying to say that the allegations in Brian Flores’ lawsuit aren’t true? John Elway only interviewing Flores because of the Rooney Rule and then showing up to the interview drunk as **** tracks with ALL of his past behavior."

    4) "I was sick of Russell Wilson before training camp started. He rolled into town immediately after the ink was dry and started forcing his squeaky clean, goody two-shoes schtick on us. He visited the children’s hospital, threw out the first pitch at a Rockies game, and somehow tried to take credit for the Avs winning the Stanley Cup. I don’t trust any of it. Plus, we gave up way too much for a QB clearly past his prime.

    The sad part is, he’s probably a legitimately good guy that these psychotic hill people need. I’m just so paranoid after years of letdown that I don’t trust anyone with a last name that isn’t Elway or Manning. I’m clearly the dick here."

    5) "It’s a 50/50 call whether our fanbase will embrace Russell Wilson because of his Tebow-esque commitment to bland Christian platitudes, or run him out of town because he’s black."