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Hello. I’m The1percentKid

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  • Hello. I’m The1percentKid

    “I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I write award-winning operas, and I manage time efficiently.

    Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook 30-minute brownies in 20 minutes.

    I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

    Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello. I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

    I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire.

    I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles.

    I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

    I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life, but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.

    I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

    And I’m here to make friends !

  • #2
    Hi, I’m Fireball, I’m here to burn your throat and chap your ass!

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Fireball View Post
      Hi, I’m Fireball, I’m here to burn your throat and chap your ass!


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      Last edited by The1percentKid; 08-26-2021, 11:19 PM.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by The1percentKid View Post



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        Reverse the order, of course... 😂

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Fireball View Post
          Hi, I’m Fireball, I’m here to burn your throat and chap your ass!
          Nothing wrong with Fireball -- but my preference is for Jack Daniels Tennessee Fire (when drinking cinnamon whiskey).

          Hey, I'm Blue. I have had Randy Gradishar's autograph (in black Sharpie) on my right shoulder blade.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Blueflame View Post

            Nothing wrong with Fireball -- but my preference is for Jack Daniels Tennessee Fire (when drinking cinnamon whiskey).

            Hey, I'm Blue. I have had Randy Gradishar's autograph (in black Sharpie) on my right shoulder blade.
            Are you dating yourself, Blue? Did Randy sign you before or after he retired?😎

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Fireball View Post

              Are you dating yourself, Blue? Did Randy sign you before or after he retired?😎
              Nope -- not dating myself (I'm married)

              Randy came by an OF1 tailgate party before a MNF football game vs. KC back in '05 -- he graciously signed autographs and posed for pictures -- even gave a speech.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Blueflame View Post

                Nope -- not dating myself (I'm married)

                Randy came by an OF1 tailgate party before a MNF football game vs. KC back in '05 -- he graciously signed autographs and posed for pictures -- even gave a speech.
                😜 Smartass!

                I was at that game, but missed the tailgate party.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Fireball View Post

                  😜 Smartass!

                  I was at that game, but missed the tailgate party.
                  ;D Oh, man, did you miss a fun tailgate! We even did karaoke.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Blueflame View Post

                    ;D Oh, man, did you miss a fun tailgate! We even did karaoke.
                    Those were the days. I had season tickets in section 232, we’d ride the Bronco Bus from Market Street Station for $3.00, and hanging out on the 16th Street Mall was still safe. ESPN Zone, Adams Mark, Willie G’s....all gone now...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Fireball View Post

                      Those were the days. I had season tickets in section 232, we’d ride the Bronco Bus from Market Street Station for $3.00, and hanging out on the 16th Street Mall was still safe. ESPN Zone, Adams Mark, Willie G’s....all gone now...
                      On the 16th Street Mall, we made sure the guys were seated on the outside by the dividers... learned our lesson when a random intoxicated guy tried to touch one of the ladies' hair. I also learned to strategically place myself beyond my husband when approaching panhandlers. They would try to talk to me, but he had that "don't even think about it" vibe going on....

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Fireball View Post

                        😜 Smartass!

                        I was at that game, but missed the tailgate party.
                        Random memory of that tailgate -- most of the Mane's moderator team was in Denver for the game and we suddenly started receiving texts saying that a couple of trolls had found opportunity to leave some disgusting evidence of their presence on the Mane. Prior to that event, I had no idea what "goatse" was. (For the sake of your retinas, do not google "goatse". ) Anyway, it was a memorable experience using Meck77's computer and internet connection to log in and "clean up on Aisle 9" ---

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                        • #13
                          Came away from that tailgate with an absolutely horrendous sunburn too -- another amusing anecdote was searching Denver thrift shops for anything with a KC logo on it. My husband excitedly yelled "I found one!!!" while holding up a bright red KC t-shirt. Everyone in the immediate vicinity gave him the evil eye until he said "no, no -- you have no idea what awful fate awaits this shirt". And it did suffer epic abuse before being ceremonially burned in the tailgate lot.

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                          • #14
                            Hello everyone. Glad to have this board here in time for the season. Formerly sgbfan for sg Broncos fan. I decided to drop the fan part after Broncos went with Bridgewater jk. Just shortening it up a bit.

                            Funny enough, I haven't lived in SG for 11 years, so I probably would have changed my handle altogether, but I'm in the middle of a 1000 mile move to go back. Speaking of which, Dom, can I crash at your place tonight

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by SGB View Post
                              Hello everyone. Glad to have this board here in time for the season. Formerly sgbfan for sg Broncos fan. I decided to drop the fan part after Broncos went with Bridgewater jk. Just shortening it up a bit.

                              Funny enough, I haven't lived in SG for 11 years, so I probably would have changed my handle altogether, but I'm in the middle of a 1000 mile move to go back. Speaking of which, Dom, can I crash at your place tonight
                              Lol sup buddy. Got to keep your SGB handle.

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                              • #16
                                Originally posted by The1percentKid View Post

                                Lol sup buddy. Got to keep your SGB handle.
                                Are we going to get the same old 1percentkid, or are you going to do less trolling now that Elway is no longer GM, and Lock is no longer the starter?

                                Comment


                                • #17
                                  Hmm, I am a new Broncos fan since they have been kneeling. I hope to be around when they are winning and protesting and leave when they suck. You will love me.

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                                  • #18
                                    Originally posted by SGB View Post

                                    Are we going to get the same old 1percentkid, or are you going to do less trolling now that Elway is no longer GM, and Lock is no longer the starter?
                                    C’mon SGB. You know I’m gonna bring the fastballs 100 all the time! If Teddy blows it you know I’m gonna call for Fangio and Co. firings. Paton will be judged by this offseason big time with the subplots of Fields Jones Lock/Teddy etc.

                                    Back in the offseason I just saw the staff not having the faith in Lock as much as Lock supporters do.

                                    Have to see how it shakes out.

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