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OT: I'm officiating a wedding this weekend.

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  • #1

    OT: I'm officiating a wedding this weekend.

    Has anyone here officiated a wedding? Any advice? Even if you haven't officiated one, have you ever been to one where the officiator said or did something particularly memorable?

    I have never done anything like it. A few months ago, a nephew on my wife's side asked me if I would be willing to do it. Of course, it is a great honor. It came out of nowhere. But I'm a little freaked out. It seems a little reckless to allow me this kind of authority.

    I am surprising the couple with an interpretive dance I've choreographed. The bodysuit I will be wearing was custom made in the colors of their wedding (the fabric is one of the colors, and the sequins are the other).
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    • #2
      Go Dom!

      Just be clean, stand up there, look official and do the speeches.

      you'll do great.

      ​​​​​​

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        • #3
          Same advice I give anyone looking to become a referee. Remember, the crowd is here to see the players, not you. Make sure they are the stars of the show. If you do something memorable, It will probably be memorable for the wrong reason.
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            • #4
              Originally posted by Old Coyote
              Go Dom!

              Just be clean, stand up there, look official and do the speeches.

              you'll do great.

              ​​​​​​
              Plus, the interpretive dance. Don't forget the interpretive dance.
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                • #5
                  Originally posted by v2micca
                  Same advice I give anyone looking to become a referee. Remember, the crowd is here to see the players, not you. Make sure they are the stars of the show. If you do something memorable, It will probably be memorable for the wrong reason.
                  You're trying to say that I should remove some of the sequins, aren't you? Just say it.
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                    • #6

                      Hopefully you are wearing a cape and top hat too.
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                        • #7
                          BTW - keep it simple and don't outshine the bride and groom
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                            • #8
                              Originally posted by DomCasual

                              You're trying to say that I should remove some of the sequins, aren't you? Just say it.
                              Listen, I learned the hard way a long time ago that you just don't dictate a man's sequins.
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                                • DomCasual
                                  #8.1
                                  DomCasual commented
                                  06-16-2022, 02:18 PM
                                  Editing a comment
                                  Such a poignant comment. And so full of truth! You are a beautiful, beautiful man.
                                • #9
                                  The first half is the sober half. The second half is the drunk half. Don't confuse the two.
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                                    • #10
                                      Be prepared, keep everyone calm, be yourself, and have some jokes ready.

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                                        • #11
                                          I have done this along with numerous speeches at weddings, funerals, retirement parties etc. The main thing is to practice, practice, practice. Write out what you are going to say and then rehearse it over and over. Talk with the couple's friends, relatives, and also the Bride and Groom. Somewhere in there will be something you can use.

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                                            • #12
                                              Keep it short. I made sure the guy that officiated my wedding keep it under ten minutes, 20 minutes tops. I didn’t want our guests to sit there forever as they do in a traditional catholic wedding.

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                                                • #13
                                                  Originally posted by DomCasual

                                                  You're trying to say that I should remove some of the sequins, aren't you? Just say it.
                                                  Bottom line: A good Elvis impersonator outfit.

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                                                    • #14
                                                      You want to make it a memorable occasion, Dom. Do it buck naked!

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                                                        • #15
                                                          Originally posted by qbronco
                                                          You want to make it a memorable occasion, Dom. Do it buck naked!
                                                          Duh, captain obvious. And water is wet, and the sun is hot. OF COURSE I'm going to be nekked!
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                                                            • #16
                                                              Good luck, Dom -- just put on a referee shirt complete with a whistle and you're good to go.

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                                                                • #17
                                                                  Originally posted by Garcia Bronco
                                                                  Be prepared, keep everyone calm, be yourself, and have some jokes ready.
                                                                  Exactly. C a l m. and .C o n f i d e n t .will win the day.

                                                                  I've done a great deal of public speaking - which much of your day will consist of. And I strongly suggest as much memorization of your lines as is practicable. Try to speak every line as though you had spoken that line many times before. The best compliment you can get will be,"Really, this was your first time? Seemed like you had done it many times."

                                                                  Once you know the lines, AND have index cards prepared and in order - then concentrate on your voice. To project to the entire room without sounding like you're 'talking loud' (not unlike John Wooden's famous coaching advice: "Go fast, but don't hurry."). C a l m .and confident.

                                                                  I'd also suggest tape recording a few of your personal practices/rehearsals ... Google Play Store has plenty of free voice recorder apps.

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                                                                    • #18
                                                                      One more thing: Some of the lines you might want to include (download a few officiant scripts online), they'll sound WAY too sentimental, melodramatic when you're writing your script and practicing (like "Thanks to everyone for being here to witness this blessed event.") But once you're there and the weight of the occassion is upon everybody, they won't seem so mushy.

                                                                      Remember - P R O J E C T .your voice to the entire room - but without 'raising' your voice too much. I mentioned one of the BEST comments you can get, here's one of the worst: ."We couldn't hear what you were saying!"
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                                                                        • #19
                                                                          Oh, I know!!! If the bride's name is "Jennifer" -- don't call her "Jessica".... or "Whatsername"....
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                                                                            • #20
                                                                              Originally posted by Blueflame
                                                                              Good luck, Dom -- just put on a referee shirt complete with a whistle and you're good to go.
                                                                              😂 That would be perfect!
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                                                                                • #21
                                                                                  Cheat code engaged... Our officiant asked my wife and I to write a couple paragraphs about the day we knew we were in love and the events surrounding. He read them to our guests during the ceremony as we looked at each other. It was pretty powerful stuff and way deeper than anything he could have possible written about us - saved him a lot of work too. The other thing I know from assisting a photographer years ago is that once you say "kiss the bride", get the hell out of the way so the photographer can get good shots without you in the middle of it. Assuming there's a bride of course. It's your world man, we're all just living in it!

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                                                                                    • #22
                                                                                      Click image for larger version Name: interpretative-dance-performer.gif Views: 124 Size: 1.06 MB ID: 107772
                                                                                      "And the mountains silently smiled..."

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                                                                                        • #23
                                                                                          Just don't go too hard on the groom when you get to the part where you ask if he is doing this because her family paid the vietnamese mafia to bring her over here or not.

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                                                                                            • #24
                                                                                              It went well. I just got up there and talked like I usually talk. I have done a lot of public speaking (thousands of hours, if you can believe it), so that helped. I kept it short. Jumped out of the way when they kissed. And I love the groom (and now, his wife), so it’s not like I had to fake sincerity.

                                                                                              I still think it’s weird that I had the authority to marry them. That just seems like a terrible idea. I signed the marriage certificate, “The Good Dear Reverend Pastor DomCasual.”
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                                                                                                • #25
                                                                                                  Good job, Dom.

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